Today I got a care package at work from mom.
Those of you that know me, have often shared a
good laugh or two over the years in regards to the
contents of such packages.
Like the time in college on Valentines Day when I
stood eagerly on line in the mail room and watched
all the girls ahead of me squeal in delight over the
giant teddy bears, heart shaped balloons and roses
they received from their boyfriends only to find out
my package was not from my latest crush/bassist
guy I'd met the week before but rather from you
know who. Hey, those girls may have gone home
with some fancy chocolates but I had one Christmas
china cheese knife, a box of vacuum cleaner bags,
three old Talbot's catalogues, chicken bouillon cubes
and five nude colored "nursing style" bras that would
make anyone jealous.
Or perhaps the time during Thanksgiving of last year
when I received a call from mom's friend Susan who
said as a "surprise" mom stuffed a care package in
Susan's car and I should totally come meet Susan at
some really inconvenient time at her very out of the
way apartment downtown to pick it up. When I arrived
at Susan's, I found a wheeling suitcase large enough
for a vacationing family of four jam packed with canned
goods such as diced black olives, condensed milk,
gravy in a jar, three alarm chili mix, two rolls of toilet
paper and three nude colored bras. Always bras. I may
have had to wheel that two hundred pound suitcase
home 75 blocks but dammed if my boobs would not
receive their proper support.
Today's package was modest. It came in a smallish
brown envelope. I opened it up to find a Christmas
tree skirt adored with angels, stars and the entire
'Twas The Night Before Christmas poem stitched on
it. No bras. While I'm tempted to freak out or to reintroduce
myself again to my own mother over the holidays, "Hello…
have we met before?" -instead this year I think I will just
Wow. It appears I may be getting older and wiser.
What do you say to that?