Thursday, March 25, 2004

The List of Things

The list of things I really don't need to
see or hear before, after or during a
flight of any kind to anywhere

-Don't need to see a giant wheel of the
plane I am about to board being replaced.
Just don't. Thanks.

-Don't need to see man with earphones
on pulling plug out of plane causing gallons
and gallons of liquid (fuel? toilet water?
the wine I plane to drink to calm my
nerves?) to come gushing out on to
the runway before taking off. Just
don't. Thanks.

-Don't need to hear, 'It's going to be a
full flight." Full, as in heavy? As in way too
many people with too many magazines or
carry ons on the flight or what? Just don't.

-Don't need to hear that today's movie
involves any flick with Ben Stiller. Just don't.


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