Friday, August 06, 2004


Last night after work I felt compelled to peek
into a clothing store called Forever 21.
I don’t know what came over me. I felt like I
should have been wearing dark glasses and a wig.

Everything about the store –and rightly so due
to the name was soooooo 21. Thumping bad music,
backless shirts, skin tight pants, half shirts
for revealing rock hard stomachs with dangling
belly button rings, thong underwear I mistook
for a rack of belts, etc. Even the signage was
targeted to the age group with big, blown up
words like,‘GIRLS ROCK!!!’ or ‘NATURAL BLONDE’

I do this on occasion. I freak out. More in a
surface, fashion related ‘I have nothing to wear’
kind of way rather than an age thing. It really
is so silly and embarrassing to admit but it’s
the truth. It’s hard to be surrounded on daily
basis by so many good looking, fabulously dressed
people all looking as if they are on their way
to the best party every thrown in the history
of mankind.

My freak out usually manifests like this:

Wake up.
Pick out decent outfit requiring some care.
Feel good about myself who I am-what I have become.
Emerge from subway into bustling streets of New York.

Spot stunning girl with the best shoes ever made in shoe history.
Spot girl with fantastic haircut that makes heads turn.
Spot girl with a purse/bag to end all purses.

Get to work.
Get busy. Forget all previous FAB girl sightings.
Leave work.
Feeling great about myself, and what I accomplished today.

Spot stunning girl wearing perfect pair of jeans-men turning heads.
Spot girl with greatest lipstick color ever natural but beautiful.
Spot girl-not overdone just extremely stylish with best
pair of earrings ever crafted.

Get call from friend, boyfriend, co-worker re: some last minute
party, art opening, concert, etc. invite asking me to go.

Look down at outfit.
Feeling as if wearing a wooden barrel with two straps.
Plastic bags for shoes.

Devil: You can’t wear THAT to a party?… Go shopping NOW!!!
Angel: (after 17th store) I hate shopping. I’m just going to wear this.
Devil: THAT? Are you KIDDING? Shopping is GREAT! Do it!
Angel: I’m tired. I don’t have money for this.

All I kept thinking was someone please point me
to the Forever 31 store. A store I imagined with
utter silence, free drinks at the door just to detox
from the mere thought of shopping directly after
work, a place with cheap clothes but not cheap
looking clothes, signage that was something
useful such as helpful reminders, “CALL YOUR


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