Saturday, December 25, 2004

PILLOW TALK


Listen up pillow loving people...you have gone too far.

I don’t sleep with a pillow. Some of you may find this strange. But for years now I have crawled into beds across America (and I don’t mean that in a slutty kind of way) -fancy hotels, friend’s houses, etc. and no matter what the conditions are I immediately throw the pillow straight to the floor.

I often wondered why this was-why I was not in the norm until I came home for the holidays and noticed my bed was a minefield of pillow madness. There were enough pillows on my bed to host a sleepover for Snow White and the seven dwarfs.

When I lay down to go to sleep, I don't want to stuff a bunch of crap under my head to prop me up so my sleeping experience mirrors that of a stiff neck producing, upright snooze on an airplance.

People are crazy about their pillows. Take my parents for example. Last night I overheard a disturbing conversation:

Mom: "Wow. My neck hurts."
Dad: "Time for your cherry pit pillow."
Me: "Her what?"
Mom: "My cherry pit pillow."
Me: ?????
Dad: "A pillow full of cherry pits."
Me: "Like...used cherry pits? What are we talking about here."
Mom: "No! Clean cherry pits."
Dad: "You put it in the microwave and it heats up."
Me: "Ok. Now you guys are just lying to me..."
Mom: "No! We swear! It's great! Try it!"
Me: "I'm sorry. I'm not trying a microwavable used cherry pit pillow. Not happening."

What next people-

Scented pillows?
Translucent pillows?
Glow in the dark pillows?
Pillows with Ipod outlets?
Pillows made of ice for those hot summer nights?



7 Comments:

At 10:06 PM, Blogger Tom said...

next thing you know, they'll be ripping the feathers off of birds and stuffing pillows full of 'em. savages!

 
At 1:54 AM, Blogger Alyssa said...

You see, I used to need a lot of pillows..then suddenly I just started using the corner of the pillow, just something to prop under my chin to keep my mouth off of the bed... Heh..

So I understand exactly how you feel..

 
At 9:59 AM, Blogger blackbird said...

um - you might wanna protect some of those pillow ideas...looks like there could be a coupla money makers there...

 
At 11:41 AM, Blogger Jake said...

when the revolution comes, all of you anti-pillowites will be up against the wall! viva la neck support!

 
At 12:23 PM, Blogger Joe said...

Did you see the ones comming out of Japan? Looks like a guys arm or a ladies leg! No I don't no where you can get one!

 
At 5:37 PM, Blogger sninky-chan said...

Here in Germany, cherry pit pillows are the shit. Not for sleepin' on (that's what those buckwheat/sobakawa pillows are for...) but for warmin' you up at night. You clean the cherry pits real good and then sew them into a sturdy cover of some sort. You can nuke it or put it in the oven (mmm, gas oven). It keeps the warmth like a hot water bottle.

My son complains about the smell of the pillow, though, when my gf takes the heated pillow with her to bring him to bed (she always falls asleep) -- he says it's musty. I'd say it's pleasant, like a distant cherry-and-pipe-smoke odor. Good pipe smoke. Anyway.

 
At 7:55 PM, Blogger Dorothy said...

You know, i used to get by with just a pillow, just one. Now, since the dang surgery on my right arm it gets uncomfortable unless i have it just so... :oP so now i have tons of them, much to my husbands dismay (but i secretly think he likes them to).

 

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