So recent polls on MTD say that the majority of you want me to blog about the following:
-Bridal shower gifts such as edible underwear
-How to prevent my relatives from ruining my wedding
-How to LAY DOWN THE LAW during my bridal shower games
-How to avoid wedding nonsense
-How to say two words without people asking me about my wedding
And my personal favorite “Marriage #1” because “it’s GOT to be a good story”.
Wow. Where to begin.
How about first…HAVE ANY OF YOU EVER READ MY BLOG? Perhaps you are confusing my blog with ivillage.com or starjones.com or oprah.com or imighttotallybarf.net.
The good news is you infuriated me back into blogging and for that I am truly, truly grateful.
Regarding the blog suggestion about “Marriage #1” and how it’s 'got to be a good story'. Before I blog about that I’d like you to first share with me in great detail:
-How three good friends of yours lost babies in a month
-How someone you love suffered from an eating disorder
-How a fellow co-worker at your old job committed suicide
-How your cat was taken away from you
-How you were laid off
-How you were evicted from your home with 24hrs notice
-How you went through a painfully sad divorce leaving two families ripped apart to mere shreds
Then…after you’ve combined all of the above bullets into one story…all happening in one month…then I will post my story. Oh wait. That is my story. And trust me when I tell you-it is not a good one.
Instead I’d like to tell you about more important things such as how much I love blood oranges and also how totally bummed I am that the underwear I am currently wearing is riding so far up my ass that it's quite possible I can floss my teeth.