Wednesday, January 12, 2005


Sometimes when I've had a drink or two I speak in fragmented phrases that could only be appropriately associated with a foreign exchange student. Either that or my Long Island accent comes out in full glory which as you may recall from past blog entries is a scary event in itself.

On a bad night when the two combine, it's as if I just landed in this country and was taken in immediately by a team of Long Island construction workers that taught me everything they know about the English language.

My best friend also suffers from this drunken accent syndrome. She is from Atlanta and when she has had one bourbon too many she sounds like a cast member of Hee-Haw. Back in college---boy did we know how to clear a room as people grabbed their jackets wondering who invited Betty-Sue Anne and Stefania the Latvian girl from Long Island to the party.

The other night as we arrived at an East Village Karaoke bar at 2am (already a bad sign), I managed to let slip one of my speech blunders on to the innocent ears of my friend Becky.

(turning to Becky glossy-eyed)

K: "I have the thirsty."
Becky: "I'm sorry. What was that?"
K: "I have...the thirsty."

Not one of my more horrifying lines but enough to make a semi-concerned and freaked out Becky run out to the nearest deli to purchase a six-pack of Poland Spring waters-handing me the first.


At 11:06 PM, Blogger supercommon said...


At 2:34 PM, Blogger epmd said...

this made me laugh out loud. That and the fact that I know people with the same accents that tend to slip out when they're drunk made it even funnier.

At 10:55 AM, Blogger Donnie Jeter said...

Your entries make me wanna la-la-la-la. Is that bad?

At 2:38 PM, Blogger panajane said...

Haha! My language skills go down a notch when I drink as well, leaving me bumbling and mumbling and confusing english with spanish. It gets weird.

At 2:59 PM, Blogger Mary said...

Oh yes. I can keep my southern accent in check most of the time but unfortunately I also suffer from the Drunken Accent Syndrome. My husband is still teasing me about my return from a bridal shower a few weeks ago (had really been hitting the spiked punch), when I was describing a ladybug-shaped cake the bride's sister had made and uttered the phrase: "Eeet hayd uh MOON PIE fur uh HAYD!" (that's "moon pie for a head" for those that don't speak redneck).

I'm still cringing over that one....

At 8:30 PM, Blogger Bruce Grant said...

{snorting, runny-nosed, incapacitated by laughter}

At 4:12 PM, Blogger toby said...

i have thirsty- i'd know exactly what you needed


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