Friday, March 18, 2005

WHO WHISTLES?

What's up with you people that whistle? Don't you know it's ear piercing and annoying? So stop it. There is a person I am in contact with every day that whistles the same damn tune over and over again and when I hear them I just want to curl up and die. Of all tunes to pick it's "All The Leaves Are Brown". You say you don't know the tune? Oh yes you do. "All the leaves are brown...And the sky is grey...and the sky is grey...

Everywhere I go I have the lyrics rattling around in my head. At the fax...'I've been for a walk'....on the toilet....'On a winter's day'...in the elevator...'I'd be safe and warm'...ordering a coffee..."If I was in L.A.' Of all the tunes to pick I find this one especially clingy and irritating.

The worst is people that whistle complicated, thirty-seven part symphonies full of various woodwinds and triple notes in a flurry of jarring whistles. It's like...dude. Get a fucking iPod.

27 Comments:

At 12:19 AM, Blogger DemonioAngelico said...

I got an Ipod just so I wouldn't have to whistle and/or sing random tunes through out my day. That and I can't sing and I never learned how to whistle. Long into short I agree. Love ya ;)

 
At 3:27 AM, Blogger Medjool said...

My 3-yr old son yells at me when I whistle, and I just can't help it, I keep thinking on some subconscious level, maybe if I whistle a fun kids song, it will make him happy. And then he screams NO!!!! And then I realize I've been whistling.

And now I have All the Leaves in my head....

 
At 3:28 AM, Blogger Medjool said...

My 3-yr old son yells at me when I whistle, and I just can't help it, I keep thinking on some subconscious level, maybe if I whistle a fun kids song, it will make him happy. And then he screams NO!!!! And then I realize I've been whistling.

And now I have All the Leaves in my head....

 
At 3:28 AM, Blogger Medjool said...

My 3-yr old son yells at me when I whistle, and I just can't help it, I keep thinking on some subconscious level, maybe if I whistle a fun kids song, it will make him happy. And then he screams NO!!!! And then I realize I've been whistling.

And now I have All the Leaves in my head....

 
At 3:29 AM, Blogger Medjool said...

oh sorry, now i'm not only an annoying whistler mom, but an annoying commenter!

 
At 3:02 PM, Blogger custerdome said...

The song is actually entitled "CALIFORNIA DREAMING," performed by The Mamas and the Papas. I think written by John Phillips. Anyway, I know the whistle people get annoying. I'm one of them. I love whistling and I feel bad about it because I know people find it irritating. Perhaps you will find it helpful to know that for many whistlers, it's involuntary. I try to silent-whistle with just a little air and tones only I can hear, but it's hard. Most often I whistle while walking to/fro the subway. I would never whistle at work and think it's totally acceptable to poison those who do.

 
At 5:03 PM, Blogger KDunk said...

That is ok Medjool. I was excited to get 6 comments even if they were all the same. :)

 
At 7:16 PM, Blogger rion said...

so here's the funny thing about whistling... if one person whistles, someone else does it almost immediately. it seems to be some bizarre reflex reaction. try whistling in an office or a store and then stop and listen... it's like playing with their minds. more times than not, someone will whistle a few bars of something, too.

 
At 5:09 PM, Blogger Big D said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 5:17 PM, Blogger Big D said...

i used to have a neighbor who would whistle a random series of notes incessantly. no tune, just notes. he was a raw bundle of nervous energy that made everyone feel a little skeevy around him.

you could even hear him over the noise of his lawn mower. it was weird.

 
At 9:13 AM, Blogger Bruce Grant said...

Confession: I'm one of those symphonic whistlers. "Overture to 'The Magic Flute'"...Mozart Piano Concertos...The Strauss "Four Last Songs"...the more polyphonic the better.

BUT...I only whistle outdoors. Even there, Rion is right: people respond.

Years ago, I was crossing the quadrangle at college, whistling the third movement from Beethoven's Fifth. Suddenly, halfway across the green, I heard somebody join in...then another...and another. Not in unison, but taking the different sections: brass, woodwinds, strings, etc. We kept right on going through to the end of the fourth movement.

But then, it was the 60s...

 
At 11:35 AM, Blogger K.S.G. said...

I don't whistle...but my cell phone does. No one sets a tune quite like Bernard Hermonn http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/clipserve/B0000C9V3T001004/0/103-6733802-8583052

You know...in kill bill...femme fatal assassion is walking down the hall whistling a sweet tune...

Just as in the movie...the whistle signals the cementing reality of impending doom.

 
At 12:44 PM, Blogger mrsmogul said...

Haha I hate whistlers!! I can;t even whistle myself. It's been a long time since I read you blog two months ago! I found you on NYC bloggers

 
At 5:02 PM, Blogger adam_wern said...

Um, not to get too "have-you-ever-noticed", but what's the deal with:

- People who pop gum in the office
- People who can't modulate the volume / pitch / stacatto of their laughs (not aware it's inappropriate to sound like a machine gun channeled through a deflating helium balloon?)

 
At 5:53 PM, Blogger adam_wern said...

Merriam-Webster:

Main Entry: soul mate
Function: noun
: a person temperamentally suited to another

Now there's a cop-out definition if there ever was one. (I can't even believe it's in MW!) It doesn't matter, as I don't believe in soul mates anyway. So much for my horoscope's advice today. But I do think there should be a band called "Soul Mates of Convenience." But don't steal my brilliant idea.

 
At 9:41 AM, Blogger Mark said...

that was hilarious, thanks for that..

I'm afraid to say I'm a phantom whistler too, though I whistle (& tap hum and otherwise physically replay) many different trapped tunes, I blame it on my dad, he's worse than me!

 
At 3:16 PM, Blogger Icewizard116 said...

Okay....I have a roomate at college that whistles to ANY and EVERY song that comes on the radio in the room. If that wasn't bad enough; I swear he is completely tone deaf. He whistles off beat and off tune to every song. He is also the loudest whistler I have ever heard in my life. It is the most annoying thing I have ever had to deal with in my life!

 
At 7:10 AM, Blogger FI0NA said...

Oh my god, my fiance's whistling drives me nuts. Anything that has been on the radio or TV, I can even reprogram him myself. But whilst he's whistling he's blocking me out.

 
At 6:35 PM, Blogger suzimm said...

I HATE WHISTLERS!!!! IT DRIVES ME INSANE. IT TRIGGERS SOMETHING IN MY BRAIN THAT MAKES ME WANT TO KILL SOMEONE! (not literally kill someone, but it drives me crazy!!) It really hurts my head, especially at work when I am kinda stressed out already and maybe a little tired...I just want to get up and scream over the cubicles: "SHUT THE F--- UP!!!" I mean, it wouldn't really be appropriat in the office if someone would just bust out and sing so the whole floor can hear him, would it??? So, WHY do men think it is appropriate to whistle???? I don't get it!! Shut up you whistlers!!!!

 
At 6:35 PM, Blogger suzimm said...

I HATE WHISTLERS!!!! IT DRIVES ME INSANE. IT TRIGGERS SOMETHING IN MY BRAIN THAT MAKES ME WANT TO KILL SOMEONE! (not literally kill someone, but it drives me crazy!!) It really hurts my head, especially at work when I am kinda stressed out already and maybe a little tired...I just want to get up and scream over the cubicles: "SHUT THE F--- UP!!!" I mean, it wouldn't really be appropriat in the office if someone would just bust out and sing so the whole floor can hear him, would it??? So, WHY do men think it is appropriate to whistle???? I don't get it!! Shut up you whistlers!!!!

 
At 6:35 PM, Blogger suzimm said...

I HATE WHISTLERS!!!! IT DRIVES ME INSANE. IT TRIGGERS SOMETHING IN MY BRAIN THAT MAKES ME WANT TO KILL SOMEONE! (not literally kill someone, but it drives me crazy!!) It really hurts my head, especially at work when I am kinda stressed out already and maybe a little tired...I just want to get up and scream over the cubicles: "SHUT THE F--- UP!!!" I mean, it wouldn't really be appropriat in the office if someone would just bust out and sing so the whole floor can hear him, would it??? So, WHY do men think it is appropriate to whistle???? I don't get it!! Shut up you whistlers!!!!

 
At 2:50 PM, Blogger Miawalker said...

My father used to play swing clarinet, and he whistles in this style. A duet with Artie Shaw whistle. That is entertaining. But a coworker sitting near me whistles little tuneless bits all afternoon, on and off. It reminds me of the theme song from the old Lassie TV program, "La, la...." I want to tell Lassie to please go home.

 
At 6:50 AM, Blogger neil gecko2 said...

I have one of these annoying whistlers in my workplace. I still haven't figured out which item on my desk top will inflict serious or fatal injury once thrown at speed.

 
At 2:15 PM, Blogger Josh said...

AMEN BROTHER! I have a neighbor who whistles non-stop. I want to hit him in the face with a shovel. maybe, burn off his lips with a blow torch.

 
At 6:41 PM, Blogger Kiri said...

Josh, tell you what :) I'll do yours if you do mine... we can't go outside to garden, it's been going on for 10 years now, my garden is going to rack and ruin and so am I.' Beautiful dreamer' is the choice du jour... interwoven with Tennessee Waltz. I spoke to him about it last year when going crackers with his endless invasion of my headspace but no luck. On the other side of his home lives a family, tenagers kids, the Dad has already spoken to him too. Over the road, a few houses from us and The Winnet (as in Whistling Winnet) a couple have to hide around the back of the house if they want to sit in the sun for coffee. And they can still hear him HELP!!!

 
At 7:06 PM, Blogger Sergio said...

Our co-worker John Valerio whistles in our ears all day long, it has been like 10 years, it makes our life miserable, He thinks that he is being pleasant, but every one complains, but we are too polite to tell him and he is too rude to understand us.
Any suggention?

 
At 9:34 AM, Blogger ader45 said...

i dont like whistle blower...:-)


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