Tuesday, April 12, 2005


I am bad at lying. Sometimes I need to tell a lie and say that someone is not where they really are. A normal person might say, "Oh sorry-she's on a conference call right now." But do I say that? No. I say something so far from the truth in my efforts to cover up that it is so obvious that it's total crap.

Once at my old job long ago - my boss from LA, a health conscious freak of salad eating only nature - didn't want to take a call and asked me to lie.

Caller: "Is Jane Doe there?"
Me: "No actually she isn't."
Caller: "Is she coming back soon?"
Me: "Um. No actually."
Caller: "Ah...ok."
Me: "She ran to get a piece of pizza."
Caller: "A piece of pizza? Jane Doe...Jane Doe ran to get a piece of pizza?"
Me: "Yeah...ah..."
Caller: "Jane doesn't eat pizza."
Me: "Well...you know."
Caller: "Huh. And she is not going to be back for a while? From getting pizza?"
Me: "Ah. No."
Caller: "Listen. Whatever. Tell her to call me."


Speaking of pizza I'm off to get a slice.
And that is no lie.


At 1:21 PM, Blogger K said...

mmm pizza
we had pizza last night for dinner. a place called Bronx Pizza here in SD. the best pizza around.

At 4:13 AM, Blogger Donnie Jeter said...

beep, bop, boop, awkward.

At 4:14 AM, Blogger Donnie Jeter said...

beep, bop, boop, awkward.

At 4:58 AM, Blogger Rosa said...

ha ha :)

(I guess this is something else we have in common)

At 11:56 AM, Blogger IBS said...

mmmm that sounds good. i lie too and i find i speak monotone doing it.

At 6:57 PM, Blogger mrsmogul said...

I am so jealous! I want NY Pizza!

At 1:38 PM, Blogger epmd said...

I'm still laughing at that conversation. so good.


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