Tuesday, May 03, 2005

CALLING ALL FREAKS

Perhaps when applying for a job:

-Don't sound like Dr. Evil in your cover letter:

"I am most interested in securing employment for your quite fascinating sounding department. I find this opportunity with your company most intriguing."

-If the job requires that you are an Illustrator expert perhaps mention Illustrator on your resume

-Maybe don't sound like if we don't hire you that we need to send you a crate of Xanax,

"I don't have many friends nor do I really have social life because of my recent move from Colorado to New York and back to New Hampshire and then back to New York again. Because of my lack of friends, employment nor a domestic partner I have a lot of time to devote to work and projects."

6 Comments:

At 12:40 AM, Blogger deborah said...

A domestic partner, kinda like a house cat? Freak indeed!

 
At 1:10 AM, Blogger dani said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 1:11 AM, Blogger dani said...

Hilarious, sick & very freaky.
And hope the op. went well.

 
At 11:30 AM, Blogger Shannon said...

I once interviewed a woman who refused to sit down during the meeting because she'd gotten a painful bikini wax just thirty minutes earlier. I also interviewed a guy who had no experience, but felt entitled to a $100K+ salary because he was once a relief pitcher for the Milwaukee Brewers and had acsended Mt. Kilamangaro. Why don't these people go back to their home planet?

 
At 1:50 AM, Blogger busy secretary said...

One lady put "attractive" as one of her attributes on her Resume.
I kid you not.

 
At 10:12 AM, Blogger Chad said...

For someone fresh out of school and back on the job market, this is indispensable advice. It has me wondering--are my frequent use of terms like "Oedipal Complex" too personal for an entry-level resume?

 

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