Thursday, June 30, 2005

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DATE ME

It will be 7am and I will tap you on the shoulder in my bra and underwear with a headband on and crazy wild hair sticking out saying,

K: Um...there is a roach. In the bathroom.

And then you will say,

E: Oh really? Ok.

And then you will roll over to go back to bed. And then I will politely wait a moment or two and then I will tap you on the shoulder again and say,

K: Actually, um...can you kill it? Because it's GIGANTIC and it's in the shower. It has long hairy horrible legs. I'm late for work.

And then I will wait outside the door because I can't even watch. And then even though I hear the entire hitting and smashing and flushing process when you come out and say it's 'safe to go in' now I will say,

K: Are you sure? Are you sure it's dead?
and really mean it.

8 Comments:

At 11:45 AM, Blogger Dana said...

When faced with a smiliar situation at 12:30AM, I chose to go running and screaming to my downstairs neighbor (an extremely quiet woman about 9 inches shorter than I am) who in a very calm and quiet manner took one of her frying pans, briskly walked past my shivering and crying self, into my apartment and quickly and efficiently got rid of the cockroach. On her way back into her apartment she quietly said "If you need any more help with a bug, let me know".
Um, thanks. Talk about feeling like a dumbass.

 
At 12:02 PM, Blogger aaannnaaa said...

i'm just hoping to marry or live with someone who kills bugs one day... for now my roomies are not more brave than i am, and considering that i'm not brave at all i guess i'm in a bad situation if i find this sort of animal one day...

 
At 2:14 PM, Blogger Tiffanie said...

Haha..that sounds like something I do ALL the time. Why do guys have to wait for us to ASK them to kill the bugs? Shouldn't they just KNOW that the mere mention of a bug should warrant them jumping to our rescue and killing the scary creature?

 
At 8:08 PM, Blogger blackbird said...

looking forward to
"what it is like to be married to me"

 
At 12:00 AM, Blogger custerdome said...

Okay -- you are Annie Hall. Oh, and you know husband material. E sounds so casual cool...for a badass natural born bug-killah!

 
At 9:06 AM, Blogger zinktuais said...

hahaha! hilarious! i would react exactly the same way...

 
At 2:17 AM, Blogger Race Bannon said...

Once long ago, after being awaken from a dead sleep, and after a long day at work, I blurted out
"Are you freak'n kidding me? You can deal with cramps, suffer thru childbirth, date men for Christ sake, only to be brought to your knees by a bug!!? Buck Up Woman!!!...

I didn't get "it",
I was young,
she was hot,
she left,

lesson learned.

NOW, WHERE'S MY SHOE, All BUGS MUST BE SUMMARILY EXECUTED!!

 
At 1:40 AM, Blogger Brett said...

Shame. I'd have already been at work for 2hrs by the time 7am rolled around.

 

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