Sunday, July 17, 2005

THE PAUSE

This weekend was a wedding weekend no matter how you spun it. As I said to a friend recently, no matter how cool you are as a person, no matter how NON ’wedding like' you think you are – come time for your wedding trust me. You will freak out too.

When I say ‘freak out’ I want to be clear. It’s not an ‘OH MY GOD WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T AFFORD A HEART SHAPED ICE SCULPTURE AT THE RECEPTION’ freak out but rather a 'how can we pull off a fun, mellow, affordable, delicious, awesome night for a number of our closest friends and family?' It's hard and a lot of work. A lot. But I'm positive in the end it will be worth it.

Props to the person that left a suggestion on my blog to check out the designer in Brooklyn to make me a dress! I went there and she was great. I started off like a brat telling her all the things I DIDN'T want - no way man never nope not in this lifetime no way uh uh nope - and ended up with all of those things and more. Lesson learned? Trust the woman who went to Princeton and FIT and knows what the hell she is doing. Mmn, K?

Then I ran around Brooklyn in the heat to check out places for people to stay when here for the wedding. Despite drinking what I thought was plenty of water I was dehydrated and on antibiotics and crabby and tired and only ate a bagel all day. I stopped on a stoop down an empty street to put on some lipstick and cool off. I was approached by a creepy man who raped me with his eyes and pointed to a closed warehouse building.

CM: They open today?
K: What?
CM: They open today?
K: I have no idea.

And then I left.

Then I walked to the Brooklyn brownstone B&B. BUZZ BUZZ. I was distracted by the dirty door handle, the number four peeling off the sign, cigarette butts on the walk and faded Chinese menus strewn about the front step. BUZZ BUZZ. No luck there. A later voicemail message from the B&B owner said they are out on vacation all week. Huh.

And today we met with the woman that will marry us. She is an inspiring, amazing, calm and powerful presence. Like Maya Angelou with dreads. Loved her. She asked us questions that weren't too lame but meaningful. At one point I got teary and E ran to get a fistful of Marriott Hotel paper cocktail napkins so I could dab my eyes. (PS-we are not getting married at the Marriott) By the fourth or fifth question though related to 'love' and 'us' - I found myself getting a little gagged out. I chimed in,

K: Um...yeah. Can we ax this question and put something funny in instead?
L: Ah...sure. What did you have in mind?
E: (blank stare)
K: I mean...nothing over the top like...squirting carnations...just...funny.
L: Oh ok. Well sure!
E: (whispers) OK Carrot Top the comedian

When finished we walked over to the reception place and discussed everything from menu to flowers etc. All I can say is thank goodness there was booze involved in the process. As our friend/restaurant owner reminded us in her toast when we sat down to discuss everything,

"May you remember to find the pause in this process of planning. That moment that reminds you why you are doing this and what truly is important here."

Cheers to that.
And cheers for all those extra Marriott napkins stuffed in my purse.

5 Comments:

At 9:23 PM, Blogger peep said...

outstanding post, all around. Good luck finding The Pause - I have heard about this magical thing but it seems elusive so far.

good luck with the planning!

 
At 2:27 AM, Blogger posthipchick said...

from a totally unknowing observer/ reader of your blog, it definitely seeems like you are avoiding becoming the crazy bride. you will have the pause.

 
At 9:22 AM, Blogger Dahl said...

i am so glad kimera worked out! i totally went in there saying i must have a strapless dress, but found out she doesn't do them and am fabulously happy with what i got.

 
At 10:13 AM, Blogger Korey said...

I think you are being married by the woman who married us - the African-American woman with dreads that advertises on the Knot, Kim Kirkley? if so, she is so great, just as you said. Very calming - everyone loved our ceremony and said it was extremely moving. I don't really remember it, as I was overcome by the surrealness of the event and could not stop laughing.

 
At 2:17 PM, Blogger Brooke said...

Oh man - weddings are nuts. A good friend of mine is getting married in a week and a half and is deeply freaked out. If she had her way, she could skip the wedding and her name would not be mentioned at all. Then she would meet her husband and maybe 4 or 5 of us on the river to go rafting, and that would be that.

But it sounds like you're in good hands with Maya... we got married by a defrocked Irish priest who'd run off with a nun. There was plenty of levity in our (blessedly short) ceremony. It made the wedding.

 

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