If Jane our orange tabby cat came with a tag this is what it would say:
Hello. My name is Jane. I like to eat cobwebs and sit in empty laundry baskets. I like to wake up my owner two seconds before the alarm goes off each and every morning. If my owner pushes snooze then I will jump on their pillow and yell MEOW at volume ten in one of their ears until they get up. If that doesn't work I will then stick my paw in the plastic cup full of water on the bedside table and knock it to the floor each and every time until they sit up and yell JANE!!!!!!!!!!!. I love to lick photographs especially precious old ones that should not be in my reach and can never be recovered. I will know when you are sad or sick and curl up in a ball next to you. When you are eating ice cream I will try and stick my head in the bowl or if you are eating pasta with cheese sprinkled on top I will try and lick the cheese. I like to sit in suitcases that are open and currently being packed but only after they are full of black clothing I can leave my orange fur on. I like to sit on magazines and then run like I am on a treadmill scratching as I run in place until the magazine cover is full of white scratch lines and torn to shreds. I like to cuddle with you on the couch but only when you are turned on your side and I can go under your arm otherwise I will meow until you turn over. I love visitors especially women. I love parties and will be sure to hang out in plain site so as to get attention rather than hide from the noise and the crowd like most cats. I like to drink water out of the Christmas tree stand. I like to chew on the ribbons of all the gifts. I will let you know when it's time for bed before you do. I will stand by you giving you three sharp MEOWS that linger a bit at the end and then I will walk and stand by the bed looking at you with a cold stare. In other words I am Jane. I run this house.