Monday, December 05, 2005


Over the weekend E and I received in the mail my dream come true and his personal nightmare....a red Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker off our wedding registry. There weren't many things we fought over in regards to the wedding registry but let me tell you...this was one of them.

After attempting to make lemon sorbet - (for the record - the thing makes frozen yogurt, ice cream, sherbert, sorbet and frozen drinks...come on!!!! how great is that!!!) in the '20-30 minutes' as advertised in the directions it became quite clear quite fast that well...this was SO not going to happen.

First of all the freezer bowl that actually is the crucial element in making the sorbet had to be in the freezer for '6 to 22 hours' prior to making anything. Huh?! Having already put the freezer bowl in there overnight I thought it would be enough but it wasn't. I turned it on and waited...and waited...and waited.... What was meant for a nice relaxing night at home, reading and watching TV as I waited for our fresh lemon sorbet to gel in the kitchen turned into a head bashing continuous grinding sound that was not unlike the rhythm of a child's toy train looping around a Christmas tree on a track at full volume. Ugh. At least I can blame my childhood.

As a kid, there were two items I longed for in life. The first was for my family to own a 70's style van of Scooby Doo/Don't Come A Knockin' type origin. The second...a Snoopy Snow Cone Machine.

After a string of diasappointing, wood-paneled vehicles parked themselves in front of our family home, I soon realized the van dream was no longer in the cards if it ever was. Same with the Snoopy Snow Cone Machine. My mother wouldn't let us eat sugar cereals much less grind ice cubes for hours in an usafe device not unlike a garbage disposal to then smother in blue food coloring.

It didn't help matters that I lived next door to Laura Luke - my next door neighbor who had just about everything. A constant reminder of things I didn't have nor knew I wanted. You know Laura Luke. There is a Laura Luke in every neighborhood. She had the Snoopy Snow Cone Machine, The Easy Bake Oven, The Barbie Dream House. Her brother Larry Luke had the Green Machine, that mini-car with an actual engine that kids could drive and even the Knight Rider remote control car that was IMPOSSIBLE to get one Christmas in the 80's. Larry's parents were only able to score him the Spanish version. I'd hear the Knight Rider car revving up their gravel driveway, KITT screaming, "Hola! El Coche Fantastico! Que Pasa?!"

I never got a Snoopy Snow Cone Machine. And Laura Luke got pregnant right out of high school. I'm pretty sure my life long quest for a Snoopy Snow Cone Machine manifested itself in the form of our new, red, loud, so not relaxing sounding, 6 to 22 hours to any form of satisfaction ice cream maker. It just proved once again to me that material things don't always live up to the dream. And most of them just end up on eBay.


At 8:22 PM, Blogger julie said...

your laura luke is my mary "p.". the last time i saw her she had literally gained 200 pounds, evidence that she must still be regularly enjoying delicious confections prepared in her state-of-the-art easy bake oven. F$#@ her, laura luke and home ice cream machines - they all suck except the old fashioned kind that you put ice and rock salt in.....

At 9:00 AM, Blogger *** said...

The idea of a Spanish speaking Kitt made me laugh and laugh.

At 10:11 AM, Blogger Robert said...

i had that exact snoopy sno cone machine. i did not, however, have a green machine or an easy bake oven. but i would've loved one.

At 10:15 AM, Blogger Courtney said...

Have you seen those fun rolly ball ice cream makers? You stick everything in this "hamster ball" type contraption and roll it around the house for 20 minutes or so. So cool!

Maybe you could convince E with that one. You know... pop everything in... go out to a park and roll it around. You get fresh air, exercise AND ice cream. YUM!

At 12:08 PM, Blogger Drew said...

I once sold my soul for a Barbie Scoop N' Swirl Ice Cream Shoppe set. I think that my parents purchased it only to teach me that not everything is what it's cracked up to be. The "ice cream" tasted like frozen non-fat milk. I still ate every tiny serving, however. Delicious.

At 6:25 PM, Blogger Tom said...

I have made some great sorbets with that very same Cuisinart model. Maybe your freezer isn't cold enough?

You can also make fantastic frozen margaritas with it, but you may find, as my friends and I did, that the recipe is better on the rocks.


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