MY 10TH GRADE BOYFRIEND

E is in San Fran. I miss him. Our home seems darker. Less light. Quiet. I sleep with a pillow on its side flush against my back. A pretend man. I lock the front door from the inside. I leave the dining room table a mess. Jane the cat and I walk from room to room. She gives a long "Meow" looking around and I say, "Yes Jane. I know."

We look at E's things around the apartment - a shirt still on it's hanger from the dry cleaner, a pile of papers, his bulletin board of random photographs, a photo of him on the fridge, things that we see every day when he is here but now seem in a different light.

The phone rings. E calls. I tell him he got a package. This is our exchange:

E: Oh it's probably some shirts I ordered.
K: Shirts? Wow. Big spender. This is a big package.
E: American Apparel was having a sale.
K: I like American Apparel. Good shirts.
E: Yeah
K: What colors did you get?
E: All kinds of colors.
K: Wow. Cool.
E: Yeah.

We proceed to talk like this for a while. It's like a Seinfeld episode. A lot about nothing - but definitely something.

K: You know what this conversation reminds me of?
E: What?
K: Being in 10th grade - two teens talking on the phone about nothing...
E: (laughs)
K: They like each other but neither will admit to it...
K: Ok well bye. Have a good night.
E: Ok you too.

When we hang up I do something I never do. I check the call timer on my phone. We talked for 18 minutes and 56 seconds. I loved and already miss every minute of it.