Thursday, August 24, 2006

MY OFF DAY

It was an 'off' day. I awoke to Jane the cat clawing lightly at my face but in that 'get up now and feed me or I'll make your life hell' kind of way. My phone alarm rang but with a strange noise. And it felt like E was sleeping on 90% of the bed leaving me only a small portion but he wasn't. I was also sweaty. Everything was just wrong and off.

So I go to the shower. I am barely awake and immediately I have to deal with two of my most hated things - a roach and a spider. Both. In the tub. At the same time. This is a horrible combo on most days much less one that is pre-coffee.

I decide - barely awake - that I should hang a piece of toilet paper for the spider to crawl up on, let it scurry up the toilet paper and then run the dangling piece of toilet paper into the kitchen to let the spider loose. Why this is a good idea I'm not sure. But I did it.

When I returned to the bathroom, the roach had not magically disappeared as I had hoped. Instead it waited to be killed. I smushed up a piece of toilet paper into a ball and did my best to smother the roach with the balled up tissue which I pounded with a toilet plunger. It wasn't until a good 15 minutes went past until I then realized that I am a grown woman standing naked in her bathroom not able to take a shower and running late for work because I am afraid of bugs. I picked up the ball of toilet paper with the roach in it and threw it down the toilet with a loud flush.

On the subway I did not get a seat. People pushed me. The car has no AC. When I changed trains I boarded the local without noticing which took forever. When I got to work my normal coffee place had no skim milk for my ice coffee. I momentarily considered that it's possible I've gained ten pounds from all the skim milk I drink on a daily basis? I ran for the elevator looking like a fool. Anyone that runs for the elevator and dives in out of breath surrounded by co-workers looks like a fool.

Busy but productive day. Met E and friends after work for a Mets night game. My first summer game of the season. I was dressed in a very un-sporty outfit. I looked like I should be going to a PTA meeting or maybe just shopping at STAPLES. But there was a huge delay. 20 minutes. There was a fire on the track. I was surrounded by freaking out tourists dressed in METS baseball hats, T-shirts, etc. They were all speaking too loudly and saying, "FIRE? WHAT DID SHE SAY? FIRE? REALLY? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? OH MY GOD FIRE!" I did not feel the air on the subway all of the sudden. The conductor yelled to his fellow conductors via the crackling speakers, "Do NOT open the doors - DO YOU HEAR ME!" which made things worse. Finally the train began to move again.

E was slightly annoyed I am late when I arrive. He asks if I left work late even after I say THERE WAS A FIRE ON MY TRAIN TRACK which annoyed me but we move on. Fantastic seats. Great company. A perfect night for a ball game and a win. On the train ride home we packed into a car with all the hundreds of other METS fans. I am smushed between a man's armpit which smells ripe and another man's bad breath - a burp he is kind enough to let out that smells no joke like sausage and hot peppers and a hint of beer.

I'd say it was time to go home.

5 Comments:

At 12:57 AM, Blogger jayKayEss said...

Don't worry, I am a grown man who couldn't take a shower the other day because of a spider the size of a silver dollar. But, I prefer the drinking-glass-and-a-sheet-of-paper method.

 
At 5:01 AM, Blogger M-m-m-m-m-m-m-Momo said...

Oh those days ... I'm concerned mine is one of those. A taxi zoomed past and splashed me with a puddle this morning. Ominous.

Your toilet paper idea is pure genius.

I was going to write more, but am stuck on the fact it truly took me two tries to spell "genius" then.

 
At 7:06 PM, Blogger Oestre-Bunny said...

someone bought me a tiny little spider ladder for when they get in my bath, tho then i'm stuck with the problem of where they go when they climb the ladder... i'm too much of a wuss to actually remove them myself...

 
At 5:40 PM, Blogger Donnie Jeter said...

A Mets fan?!?!

 
At 3:46 PM, Blogger alissa said...

Happy Birthday tomorrow!!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home


powered by SignMyGuestbook.com