Monday, September 04, 2006

WIFE SWAP

There is one show I'm not 'allowed' to watch in the house and it's called 'Wife Swap'. It drives E mad. If you don't know what the show is about the idea is that two families swap wives for a week and they film how things go down. And boy do they go down. The swaps are often between two polar opposites - a religious, conservative, stay at home wife swaps with a tattooed, green haired punk wife. Or a biker, meat eatin' wife swaps places with a hippie, raw food enthusiast wife. Not matter what they pair up - chaos ensues.

Despite not being 'allowed' to watch it I sneak it in like cigarettes when E is in the bathroom or takes calls on his cell phone. I can't help but get hooked each time I see a bit of it even if I can never quite believe how dumb the husbands are each episode. They are always 'surprised' and 'amazed' when the tables are turned and they are required to follow by the rules of their new wife. Shut up and eat your raw carrots buddy.

Tonight - E made two pizzas. He rolled out the dough, he prepared the various ingredients, he cooked the pizzas on the grill so they had the perfect smoked flavors, etc. The entire production took an hour or so and the pizzas came out looking like ultimate perfection.

As you know from my former post, it had been a hard day. The honest truth was the day didn't quite get any better from when I lost all my photographs from the month of August (read below) but the thought of a nice dinner of fresh pizza and wine sounded like it might make things better.

I set the table and we got ready to eat our yummy meal:



But then...like a total spaz...I set my water glass down too hard on the table and it knocked against my wine glass which then caused glass to shatter all over the two pizzas. Cut to E looking with a flashlight in desperate atempts to save our meal:



Bottom line is - today sucked. Big time. And thanks to a day of emotional ups and downs topped off with two shattered glass pizzas - I might now qualify for one of those stupid crazy women on Wife Swap. Sure. Go ahead. Swap me out for a week and replace me with a poised wife with several external hard drives that never loses a thing. Only please - just promise you'll take me back.

14 Comments:

At 2:41 AM, Blogger deborah said...

oh i have moments like these too... i wonder if my boyfriend ever regrets moving in with me. things like spilling laundry liquid all over the carpet, a kilo of rice onto the stove top so it seeps into every crevice, dropping a bottle wine off the window sill to see it crash onto our neighbours footpath.

i'm sure your week will get heaps better. and i doubt it for a sec that your husband would ever want to swap you. who wants to be poised when you can dunk :D

 
At 1:55 PM, Blogger CC said...

how about we swap- except I come there to live with you and E and G can shack up in Vancouver for a week and talk about how much they miss us and how luminous and irreplaceable we are (while we are getting mani-pedis at Dashing Diva fending off the papparazzi)

 
At 3:56 PM, Blogger liz said...

sorry you had a bum day.

I LOVE that show!

 
At 4:53 PM, Blogger Chris Fisher said...

I don't watch the show but have seen the God Warrior clip on youtube-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0MHK8ntKqk

It's like the producers pray on the mentally unstable...

As for the pizza... I've always had a motto that says "There's no such thing as bad pizza. Some is just better than others".

 
At 6:19 PM, Blogger rubybeth said...

My dear mother baked fish a couple weeks ago and the pan exploded. Glassy pizza would be more sad. So sorry. :(

 
At 9:35 PM, Blogger aaannnaaa said...

oh.... poor you... those days just have to happen sometimes! at least you know tomorrow will be better... for sure!

 
At 7:36 PM, Blogger Mary said...

Ugh! I think we've all had days like this when you just think at some point that you would have been so much better off had you decided to stay home and stay under the covers. It's too bad we can't get a sneak preview of what the day will be like. And I'm so sorry that your day didn't improve in the end. The pizza should have been trascendant and rescued you. Alas.
But I think swapping would be an extreme measure to take -- you could end up with some taxidermist who lives on Moose meat and uses a composting toilet or something. Which, while it might go a long way towards convincing you how wonderful your life truly is (Which I know you already know), would be an extreme way to punish yourself for the mere misfortune of having a bad day.

 
At 5:13 AM, Blogger rion said...

K, I am a wife with several external hard drives, and trust me... you still lose photos to the data-gremlins somehow. I am missing part of December 2004 and still thinK about it. It's Murphy's Law -- an inescapable inevitable -- so try not to feel too bad.

And don't worry about the spill. I KnocKed a glass lemon Fanta onto my laptop Keyboard two weeKs ago and now I have to copy and paste my Ks, because my K Key no longer worKs and I'm not quite yet up to dealing with computer repair in French.

 
At 10:30 PM, Blogger beth said...

First time visitor here - I like what I've read so far and look forward to reading more.

Hope your evening improved after the pizza mess - and so happy you got your pics back!

have a great day...

 
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At 5:49 PM, Blogger Sasha The (Skinny) Brit said...

your blog is the most disgusting piece of drivel i've ever had the misfortune of reading. i hope your grill blows up.

 
At 5:13 AM, Blogger ader45 said...

wife swap????


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