Monday, January 29, 2007

FIRST GUNS N' ROSES CONCERT WITH MOM

DOUBLE DOORS



Well...you haven't missed much. Let me tell ya.

First...I was holed up in an edit room since Thanksgiving working on a massive celebrity press packed project which I can not speak of so end of story there. I haven't had a day off since and let me tell you I am looking forward to vacation! We are no longer going to Portugal for various reasons - boo hoo - but we are going to the Yucatan so I'm excited about that! Please send any recommendations for food, drink, sights, etc. in such places as Merida or Chichen Itza or Tulum or anywhere in the area if you have them.

After that...despite being on such a good health run for a while there - have suffered from some annoying health issues repeating themselves. Worthy enough of me exploring the slightly expensive nutritionist I've had my eye on for a while.

Then...some somewhat depressing and sad family crap to deal with.

Then later...I got summoned for jury duty. I got my slip. It said call X phone number the night before to see if I needed to come in. Only problem - the phone number was busy. All the time. For like...hours. I thought I was crazy and then E called and same thing. So I was forced to go the next morning and line up in the cold with all the 300 plus angry pissed off Brooklyn people that couldn't get through the phone line the night before either. Once inside we had to sit there and listen to a stressed out clerk guy who said that the phone line AND the backup system has never gone down in the history of his time working there and they were sending a repair guy down from Albany (who cares!) to fix it immediately. Yeah...well that's nice. Now what since half the room wasn't even due to show up today? Angry outbursts, deep sighs, people throwing newspapers to the ground in outrage. Quite a scene.

But lucky for me I got out of it. How might you ask? Did I lie? No. I am the worst person to ever come up with or even attempt to tell a lie so no I didn't. Instead, I did something that came quite naturally to me. I did something dumb. That's right - dumb.

When it came time to collect the juror slips from the row I was sitting in I had to confess that I accidentally mailed in (which is true) portion A and C of my juror paperwork when really they only asked one to mail in C if I wanted to purpose a new date to serve should I have a conflict of any sort (LIKE A MUCH NEEDED UPCOMING VACATION TO MEXICO)

Angry Clerk: Where is your portion A?
Dummy: Uhhh...oops. Sorry I think I mailed it in with portion C
Angry Clerk: You MAILED portion A AND C - is that what you are telling me?
Dummy: Um. Yes. Apparently I did. Sorry about that.
Angry Clerk (deep sigh): Go through those double doors...tell them...what you did.

I wasn't sure who 'them' were awaiting me on the other side of the doors but if I had to guess it might include a panel of people from my past -

Mrs. Williamson my 3rd grade teacher, "She never read directions!"
My mother, "She over thinks everything!"
Hippie ex-boyfriend, "Dude. Just chill. Stop rushing through things in your life."

Instead it was a nice woman dressed in a black ribbed turtleneck chomping on gum. Said no problem! See you at the end of Feb!

And finally...today I woke up with a severe pain in my lower back that had been creeping up since Sunday. It was the kind where you have to roll over to one side and then slowly raise yourself up with your arms to push yourself up to get out of bed. Walking felt like knives into my lower back. And today while standing on the subway platform on my way to work I dropped my Metrocard. Unable to bend over I just stared at it. The best $4 I never spent.

See...you haven't missed much.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

NOTE TO DUDE IPOD USER

Dear Dude Listening To His Ipod On The Subway,

Just because YOU are wearing an iPod
doesn't mean I CAN'T hear you
when you fart.

Thanks


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