R.I.P.

'Kick off shoes, jump on the jock
Listen to the Jam Master as he starts to rock
His name is Jay and he's on his way
The best DJ in the US of A....

J-a-y are the letters of his name
Cutting and scratching are the aspects of his game...'


Sad! I feel lucky that Eliot and I were able to catch Jay
and the rest of Run-DMC in a 2:30am live performance
in Brooklyn last winter. It was one of the best concerts
ever. My legs hurt because I was jumping up and down
for hours.

Blah blah blah

Tissue Anyone?

*Note many people are confused by this blog. I am
not talking about myself I am talking about watching
another person sneeze and how snot comes out of
their nose...

Have you ever seen someone sneeze
and it is just short of projectile vomit?
Like snot chunks flying everywhere.
I have and frankly it's really unpleasant.

A Case of The Pitch Call Sweats

For work I just had to make a pitch call to a major
Art Critic at The Village Voice. As I was leaving a
message on their voicemail, it cut me off so I had
to call back. Only problem was they picked up
the second time.

I got nervous and instead of saying, "Sorry, I was calling
back because I got cut off from your voicemail"

I said instead, "Sorry, I was calling back because I got
chopped up from your voicemail".

It would be one thing if I was from another country
but I'm not.

Giving Thanks

Sometimes when I am really fucking crabby
(like now) I like to say,

"Thank you God. Thank you for alcohol."

My Blind Date

A person in my office is being set up on a blind date. I was
set up on a blind date once. It was a while ago when I was
still in college and living a lonely existence apartment sitting
on Avenue A and serving as a slave…I mean an intern for
PAPER magazine.

My mom's friend wanted to set me up with her trainer.

Famous last words:
'I swear-he's not a muscle beefcake guy I swear.'

'Barry' and I met at a restaurant in SoHo. It was near his gym.
He showed up wearing a grape colored tank top and skin tight
biker pants. He had the biggest neck I have ever seen. His blue
eyes would drift off when I started talking, he checked out the
ass of our waitress a number of times and when I went to order
a BLT he said, 'No-she'll have the sesame noodles-they are low
fat' and then winked at me.

After the fastest lunch of my life I bolted but not before he said,
'You know…I find you really hot. You could use some lower
body work but overall I really think we might have something
here…'