Daily Confession: I stole and ate leftover Halloween candy from the little kid I babysit for. Like a lot of it.

Can someone please explain to me the allure of the Christmas
sweater?

Really. I don't get it. I can almost deal with your average
horrible red sweater with a huge Frosty the Snow Man on it
(although that is really bad) it's instead what seems to be the
year 2001 version of the Christmas sweater that has gone to
new heights with it's printing of gigantic amounts of text from
' 'Twas The Night Before Christmas' on the front, back, neck
and arms of some poor lady. I mean at this rate what could
be next? Pants with 'The Rime of the Ancyent Marinere'
puff painted on them?

Daily Confession: Today I kept my lipstick in my right boot.

Hi.
Have you ever worked a 375 person corporate holiday party?
Well I have. And it isn't pretty. At first is feels sort of joyous.
And then I am put on coat check duty where I am responsible
for tagging, storing and fetching 375 indistinguishable black
coats, black bags and black umbrellas. Don't people wear
pink anymore?

Have you ever worked a 375 person holiday party -buffet style?
Well I have. And it ain't pretty. Buffets are crazy. You have to
explain what everything is over and over again and when food
trays are empty you have to run up two flights of stairs
repeatedly to carry down hot steaming heavy trays of food
that nearly cause you to break out in instant acne.

And by the time you return to the buffet, there is always
the night's Mr. 'Yup I'll Be The Guy Holding Up The Buffet Line'
guy who says things in all seriousness like,"Something just
moved in that dish!" while pointing to a very stagnant and
innocent Endive and Onion salad. And I have to shout over
'Dancing Queen' blaring, "No sir. I think that's actually just
the light bouncing off an Endive."

I think it should be Taboo to play 'Taboo' anywhere other than a cabin in Maine