GAY BOYFRIEND

I wrote and helped produce my very fist promo that played on TV this week. The promo is titled, 'Gay Boyfriend' and is about how chicks sometimes like their gay boyfriends much better than their boring straight guy boyfriends. It then goes off to list a bunch of horrific gay sterotypes about why gay guys make great friends. Welcome to TV.

I wrote the script. I helped pick the images. The music. Helped audition 'gay' voice over talent ("Can you try and sound a little bit more...'gay' on that last line? Thanks.") and helped in the edit room putting it all together. Who knew making a :30 promo would take days and days and days from creation to approval process but it does. My current goal is to write a promo a month to start building a reel. Only 7,000 more to go!

I once had a gay boyfriend. I met him when I was going to college in Virginia. He was the only cool looing dude at the frat party not smashing a beer can against his head (clue #1) or coming up to me saying something smarmy like, "You look like a 'funky' chick. What's your name?"

I met him. We hung out. After the frat party he took me back to his spotless apartment (clue #3) to make me a pot of tea (clue #4). He was an extreme mountain biker and had a great bod (clue #5). Eventually, he wrote very heartfelt letters between the long periods of time we were apart-me in England and him finishing up his degree in Physics in New York at Columbia University.

One weekend I took him out to meet my family and my parents loved him (clue #6). We enjoyed huge meals around the table. He was always the last one to come down having spent a little too much time in the bathroom getting ready (clue #7). The next day he suggested we all go ice skating together (clue #8) and as my family and I all put on our skates he vigorously headed to the middle of the pond turning tricks that could put Brian Boitano (clue #9) to shame.

Communication between us became sparce after that weekend visit. One night while enjoying a meal at Avenue A sushi with some pals I spotted him. He was sharing appetizers (clue #10) as in...putting food into the other guy's mouth and wearing a skin tight Donna Karan (clue #11) T-shirt.

Me: (jabbing my friend in the ribs) Holy crap! That's my ex-boyfriend!"
J: What?!
Me: What is he doing with that guy?!
J: Um...like...practically giving him a bj in the restaurant.
Me: WHAT?! Is he...gay???

THE BABIES ARE COMING

Two of my best friends have kids. One friend twins (boy and girl) and the other a boy. As this was going down-my two best friends getting pregnant...the having kids...it blew my mind. It continues to blow my mind. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you at times I feel selfish. I want my friends back. Like when I call my friend with twins and she has me on speaker phone feeding two babies and meanwhile I want to tell her about my wild night but feel wrong saying the words, 'got trashed' on speaker phone to the sounds of two adorable twins cooing like doves.

Now, I've adjusted better and have to say I am just soooooo EXCITED to meet these little beings. These little pieces, little extensions of these amazing women. At the end of June my friend with twins will be home in Massachusetts with the twins and my other friend will be coming to New York with her baby that very same week. When I think about I get nervous. Excited. I am worried my camera won't be good enough. Or that I'll act like a fool and burst into tears at the very sight of them.

Yesterday E and I sat in Prospect Park hungover and looking at the tens of thousands of couples around us with Maclaren strollers and Baby Bjorn carriers. Sometimes it feels like a baby explosion. Like a massive wave of babies have been let loose out of a gigantic jar and they all ran straight to Brooklyn.

Everyone looked so 'cute' and 'happy' and 'adorable' it was enough to make one scream. I don't know why I had such a bad attitude about it. It's not that we want a baby right now because we don't. As we talked about it, it seemed more related to the fact that life seems to be in fast forward. Our friends-most of them are becoming or are parents. It's wierd and scary but at the same time admirable.

All I know is that E summed up the mood perfectly as we stared at some hipster couple's kid dance like a spaz in the grass,

E: Why are babies such bad dancers?