MY FAMOUS PAST

So you thought I was just a regular blogger, huh? Someone with just a normal, boring past. Well...(snort) hold on to your hats people because here is a little tale about my famous past:

Me at age 3 or 4 in a bank ad for one of my dad's clients for a LI newspaper. I didn't get to keep the doll. Mean, cruel bank people:


Me as kid appearing in a PSA or something with Lorne Greene of Bonanza TV show fame. I didn't get to keep the notebook although I may have gotten to keep Loren Green's hand seeing as it appears to be permanently attached to mine:


Me as Alice in Alice in Wonderland - 3rd grade play. As you can see I did the entire play with my eyes tightly shut. That takes serious talent people:


My whole family in a batting cage with famous Red Sox people none of whom I can name until my husband gets home and does so for me because I know nothing about sports:


My first MTV ID out of 6 or 7 that I eventually gathered and lost on and off at some point in my life. Anyone that works at MTV is COOL MAN:


A scary 'headshot' taken for me for my column in my college newspaper. I look small and meek and not unlike whats her face from 'Everyday Italian' on The Food Network. Also apparently wearing a cone bra and never heard of this thing we call 'plucking eyebrows':


A personal and sweet letter from Antonio Ordonez - star bullfighter of Hemingway's 'The Sun Also Rises' who wanted me to marry his grandson who is now a good friend:


Me and Artimus Pyle - former drummer of Lynyrd Skynyrd and his son who I was dating at the time and some midget wearing a spooky hat (my hat's cool...ya dig?):


The 'Stuff the Turkey' game that I designed for Nickelodeon's show "Double Dare" that was actually played on air. Game involved - Mom and Dad stand at one end of room holding giant turkey. Kid catapults fake stuffing balls dipped in gravy towards Mom and Dad. Most in hole wins. Um yeah Dad. I promise I'm using my college degree I swear! :


Stay tuned for more exciting updates from KDunk's famous past!!!

BLOW OUT

I love New York. For many reasons:

A. That despite having come to work with 2 day dirty hair looking as if I dipped my head in Vaseline (was intending to wash hair but woke up late) - I was able to run out on my lunch hour and get a quick wash and blow out for a couple of bucks in the middle of Koreatown before attending fancy dinner that evening.

B. The fact that I can not only run out and do this but also get free advice on life too...just another perk.

Here is the scene....80's looking, overly lit, tons of mirrors and fake plants hair salon. Women working there are a mix of hardcore done up Russian women, heavy eye shadow wearing Korean women and rough and tough High School aged Queens chicks with little scenes of desert islands painted on their nails.

A friendly greeting.
A short wait and a flip through Ladies Home Journal (now W mag here)
A motion to the sink and chair for a hair washing
A scratchy, cheap towel placed around neck by friendly High School aged Queens chick
Desert painted nails give Vaseline coated hair a good washing

Our conversation begins...

Queens Girl: Happy New Years
K: Thank you! You too.
G: How wuz ya New Years. Ya party?
K: Good. Mellow. A party in Brooklyn. You?
G: Awesome. Me and my girlfriends dressed up. Went out. Danced in our shiny shirts.
K: Oh nice. Sounds like fun.
G: It was. So any resolutions? Mines is to quit smokin'
K: That's a good one. Must be hard.
G: Yeah. I'll be ready when I'm ready
G: So you - any resoultions?
K: Um...I guess more writing in the new year
G: Oh cool. Ya a writa?
K: Sort of. Yes
G: You want to write a book?
K: (pause) I guess. Maybe. Yes. Sure.
G: Well you should do it. It's now or neva
K: Yes. I suppose I should
G: What would ya book be about?
K: Not sure
G: How about ya life. Relationships. Livin' in the city. From a female perspective
K: (laugh) You know. I think you are on to something
G: Sounds cool. What's ya name?
K: Name
G: (turns off water. takes towel to dry my hair.) I'll rememba that. Just rememba ME when you are famous. Like Danielle Steele. Or JK's Rowlin.
K: I will. I really will.

Motioned to chair.
Hair blown out nice and straight.
Clean.

G: Ya want ya nails done?
K: Oh no thank you. Another time.

Paid bill.
Walked out.

Turned around to see my friend on her cigarette break. She waved her desert islands at me. Turned her head to look away. Blew her smoke towards midtown.

HOOKED ON HOOP

Nothing screams BRING ON 2006 like...

(1) putting on your $11 Strawberry's black and gold lace shirt that either screams 'cool' or suburban mom dressed up in 'something wild' for New Years Eve

(2) attending a pot luck dinner in Brooklyn

(3) drunk hula hooping to ipod tunes in a friend's living room into the wee hours of 2006! And I'm not kidding!

KDunk rocks the hoop!

*photo by slower.net

Actually it was really a LOT of fun. The party was also full of very good chefs including our amazing hosts and one actual chef friend who I happened to run into earlier on the street as he looked puzzled and asked for suggestions of what to make for the party. Did I have any? Um...no? Food included: homemade empanadas, squid in its own ink, jamon smuggled in from Barcelona, samosas, asian tuna advocado salad by E and amazing desserts such as egg nog bunt cakes and cocoa brownies that melted in your mouth.

After a few drinks my two girlfriends W and H rolled out the hula hoop. W started first once the music began and the minute her hoop dropped I was like, "OK NOW ME!" and then when my hoop dropped H was like, "OK ME NOW!" and then when her hoop dropped to the floor we went back to W who was like, "OK NOW ME!" and we continued this trio of 6th grade like behaviour for at least 20 minutes until half the room either cleared far away from us while the other half crowded around to observe and laugh.

According to the crowd I was quite the hula hoop star although I'm not so sure. W and H were pretty badass. I found it easier to hoop when something like ...say Britney Spears 'Toxic'...was on. The attention was addictive. I felt like one of those break dancing chicks from the 80's that when the moment hit her would dive onto a flattened cardboard box in the middle of a circle of nodding hipsters. As someone who can't dance (at all) 'busting some moves' in front of a large group of people was funny and new for me. At one point I even worked the hula hoop down my body until it was literally around my ass. How I did it I don't know. I was ass hooping. Who knew. Thank you Britney.

If you didn't know, guys suck at hula hooping because they don't have hips. W, H and I made almost every guy at the party try. It was hysterical. Most guys hula hoop by thrusting their privates forward then lean their bodies forward sticking their butts in the air and then the hula hoop falls to the ground. Ha.

I don't care what anyone says but I plan to bring a hula hoop to every party I go to in 2006. If I could only find a collapsible...