SO MUCH BLOGGING SO LITTLE TIME

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GIRL IN A BUBBLE

When E first met me he nicknamed me 'girl in a bubble'. The nickname was fitting because it seemed everywhere I turned I had some new ailment brewing and it almost seemed unwise for me to step outside. I had allergies and skin rashes and stomach pains and asthma and bloating and pains in my legs and extreme extreme extreme fatigue and extreme weight loss and weight gain and blah blah blah. Granted at the time we met I was going through some severe stress and I am smart enough to know it is all related but still...for a youngish, seemingly healthy woman it all seemed a bit confusing and a little much.

Now that we've been together for so long things have been a 'tad' better (I can hear E snorting from the other room) however things come up now and again. For someone who has all these stupid things happen to them it is almost better when a physical thing that everyone can see happens (like a rash) rather than just describe myself as suffering from 'extreme fatigue'. It's crazy but it's like unless I have a giant skin rash everyone can see no one will believe me. Ok. Me crazy. Back into my bubble now.

Perhaps you may recall the past incident when E and I and went to meet a friend of ours and his Christie Brinkley like beautiful wife for dinner. We went to New York's famous Katz's deli. Everything was going great until slowly I started scratching my face and had the sensation my lips were a little swollen. Ignoring it I continued with my story and finally our friend's beautiful wife said, "Um...I think you may have gotten bitten or something under your eye..." Shrugging it off I said something about always having allergies and I'm sure it was nothing. By the time we left the place and we all walked to the subway, I noticed people STARING at our friend's beautiful wife and I. Little did I know they were thinking to themselves, "Awww...isn't that nice! Christie Brinkley made friends with that scary egor guy from the movie GOONIES."

Needless to say I woke up the next morning and headed straight to the emergency room looking like THIS:



I still to this day don't know what happened. I had corned beef and some pickles. Did I get bit by something? What did I touch except E's leg under the table now and again or the Katz's menu. Add it to the filing cabinet of KDunk ailment mysteries unsolved.

This year I've had my fair share of ailments. An incorrect diagnosis with Celiac Disease. And increased asthma over the past three months. I used to use and inhaler once a year and now close to three times a day. When this happens it feels I am sucking through a pinhole opening of air. Can't ever get enough. Yesterday I was in a meeting at work with the CEO of a major TV network and I felt like I was going to die. Scary.

So yesterday I went to an allergist. He wrote with a fountain pen. He made jokes. He stuck a thin long tube down my nose/throat and took a video which he burned me a CD of because I so geeked out and wanted to post it on my Vimeo. He gave me a bunch of shots in my arm to see what I was allergic to.



In the end he said this, "When you say you feel like you are sucking air at times through a pinhole it is because you are. Do you see your voicebox here (pointing to the video of my voicebox opening and closing rapidly) most people's voice boxes stay open at all times. Yours is closing because of a minor infection in the throat." I found the whole thing fascinating except the part where he told me I had to come back in two weeks or so and do it all again.

Overall it was a positive experience and I was happy to hear what was going on with my breathing. But um...in case you don't believe me you can check out my Vimeo later.

NOT APPLEBEE'S

Last night E took me to dinner for my bday. It was a quiet and amazing place in Brooklyn that we have been once before. The food was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOD. I was late to meet him because my train was crawling out to Brooklyn inch by inch. That and I also lost track of time while looking for wedding jewelery. When I finally made my jewelry picks I noticed what time it was. Plus the lady at the counter was like 'Hmmm...what is this thing you call cash register?' so I threw down everything and left. At least I had someone else to blame.

No one likes a happy blog and no one likes to hear how great and in love everyone is but I can't help it. E is adorable. When I finally made it off the train I called him immediately and blamed the lady at the jewelry counter and told him I'd be there in five minutes. He said not to rush because he was having a drink at the bar. It's always good when your husband to be has a drink at the bar after his shitty day BEFORE you meet up for a fancy meal. It just is.

When I arrived he had flowers for me. He pulled out my chair and ordered me a cocktail. He told me how lovely I looked. When I apologized for having to run to the bathroom the minute I arrived he said 'take twenty minutes if you have to'. It was like dating Frank Sinatra. He was just short of slipping me a twenty for the powder room.

When we sat down to our meal it was a quiet table for two by the window with a view. We had the tasting menu. Did I mention the food was SOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD? E then excused himself to the bathroom. When he came back a few short minutes later the waitress came out with my mixed berries and cream dessert and with a tiny candle in it. He'd planned the whole thing. When the waitress left I said to E,

K: WOW! Can you BELIEVE they didn't sing Happy Birthday? That's such a relief! PHEW! Did you tell them not to sing? Did ya? Did ya? Thank goodness!!!! Wow.

E: (silence) Honey, this isn't Applebee's.

Perhaps it is true. You can take the girl out of Long Island but you can't take the LI out of the girl.

WHAT 32 IS

Today is my bday. I am 32. At 32 I've:

1. Only been on a roller coaster once
2. Once ate a steak dinner on the Forbes' yacht
3. Lived in England
4. Played on the actual drum set used by Artimus Pyle from Lynyrd Skynyrd
5. Volunteered in a Jamaican hospital where a woman died in my arms
6. Played bass in a pop punk band
7. Grew up with possibly the world's oldest living chicken
8. Stole Halloween candy from the kid I was babysitting for
9. Got thrown out of the Tate museum for laughing too loudly
10. Worked in a perfume factory one summer
11. Am a fantastic backgammon player
12. Was a model in a PAPER magazine fashion show (back in the day)
13. Wrote and published an article about transexual female wrestlers
14. Got hit on by one of the Beastie Boys at a party
15. Shook hands with Tom Hanks
16. Wore a tuxedo while catering and had Bill Gates take a wine off my tray
17. Used to give poetry readings (cringe) in college
18. Once had a subscription to Thrasher magazine
19. Love to draw
20. As a kid was in an ad with Lorne Greene of Bonanza fame
21. Was a Hospice volunteer at Cabrini Medical Center
22. Had a proper ten course meal in a chateau in France at Easter
23. Have always been good with kids
24. Know how to play the flute
25. Had two commercials I wrote go on air
26. Had lunch with Henry Wrinkler aka 'The Fonz' when I was a kid
27. Was named (middle name) after my father's friend that drowned
28. Was lucky enough to mentor a number of kids I am still in touch with today
29. Got locked in a stairwell for 45 minutues at my first job
30. Designed a prop that appeared on Nickelodeon kids show 'Double Dare'
31. Met the love of my life

But I have yet to be 32.