BROOKLYN CYCLONES SEEK ON-FIELD
TALENT ON CRAIGSLIST?



More Than Donuts had a momentary scare today
when she saw that the Brooklyn Cyclones were
seeking 'on-field talent' on Craigslist. This seemed
slightly lame somehow for one of my most favorite
teams. Luckily it was only an ad to fill mascot
positions and not players. I considered applying
to be the Brooklyn Cyclone's next mascot
BUT:

-One must agree to work all 38 home games
from June to September (bye bye Hamptons
rental)

AND

-One must submit a 'video' (what kind exactly?)
Me dressed in a hot dog suit chasing a distant
cousin around a family BBQ?

THE ZOO RATIO



E and I decided to go to the Bronx Zoo today.
It was the first sunny warmish day in a while.
As we struggled our way past hundreds of
strollers, dropped toys, mittens lost, crying
kids starving or desperately thirsty for juice
boxes...I couldn't help but ask the question,
"Is the ratio of kids to adults in the world far
greater or are we seeing some kind of gross
misrepresentation here?"

WHEN YOUR BOSS IS DUMB

One time I worked for a boss that actually
sent an email to the staff that read word
for word,

"Dear Staff-
Please note that Europe has a different time
zone then America. Please keep this in mind
should you call us for any reason while we
are on vacation."

I know because I wrote it down in a notebook
praying for the day I could write it on my blog
finally free from working for such patronizing
assholes.

SUBCONSCIOUS PERSONAL TORTURE



Today I've had the lyrics to Patience by
Guns N' Roses playing in my head all day
and when it finally stopped I picked up
99 Bottles of Beer On The Wall. Ack.

THE DAY BEFORE YOUR BEST FRIEND MOVES TO
LONDON YOU...


go for pedicures...


you have tea...


you meet up with other two best friends for drinks...


you eat sushi...


you play the clash while eating a cake shaped like a british
flag...kinda

You share a mostly silent cab home over the bridge. But you do
talk about the time when you two first moved to Brooklyn right
out of college. How one of you -the one with the Georgia
license drove the moving van spray painted 'Die Nazi Scum'
across the bridge while the other clutched the map, leaned
out the window and yelled, "You're all clear friend. Go for it!"