A Reading

Tonight I went to a reading of a famous author.
He is a somewhat new author and youngish one.
When he got to the stage he said, "Can I get
some water up here?" No please or thank you.
If it were me, the new author, the young author
about to start a reading-trust me when I tell you
this would not be my opening line.

At one time I had a weekly column in my university
paper. It was kinda popular I have to say (toot toot)
It was not unlike my blog in style-blathering on and
on about the everything nothing in my life. One time
I was asked to give a reading in front of a giant room
of people. There were a lot of mirrors and people
sitting cross-legged listening. I wore a purple shirt
and jeans. When I got to the mike I turned bright
red with embarassment. My opening line to the
audience was, "Hi. Forgive me if I turn the color
of my shirt." I guess we all can panic.

MANHOLES

What Are They All Looking At?
And Why Are There No Chicks Looking In There?

Reasons Enough Not To Date Me

I'll drink all the water from the Britta
filter and not fill it back up again.

I'll wake up 10 times in the night walking
around saying things and will flip around
in the bed like a dog rolling in the grass
as I try to go back to sleep.

I'll put two gigantic quilts on our bed
meant for cold, stormy winter nights
when it is only September and it is
around 75 degrees with 90% humidity.

Parents-They Are Only Human

Sometimes my mom speaks louder to people
from other countries. I always want to say,
'Mom-they are foreign-not deaf' but I don't.

Sometimes in sushi restaurants dad will lay
the hot washcloth to wipe your hands with
on his face as if he is in a spa. I want to say,
'Dad-you are not in a spa' but I don't.

I'm sure they have a lot to say about me.