Football For Girls

When I was younger my dad (poor guy
never had any sons) wanted to teach me
the rules of football. He asked me to sit
down while he set up two folding chairs
in our living room and said that basically
the point of football was to run from one
'chair' to the other thus scoring a 'touchdown'.
At the end he asked if I had any questions.
After a long pause I said, 'Um...do they use
real chairs???'

Oh Dear

To all of you that I have manged to
piss off with my sarcastic sense of
humor in the last week-sorry. I plan
to be better about that.

Jimmy Carter Proposes Plan to End
Venezuelan Financial Crisis

Do you ever wish you could borrow Jimmy Carter
for a day? Have him over for coffee and crumb cake...
spread out all of your financial documents across
the kitchen table and say, 'What now Jimmy?'

Well I do. I'm sure it would be a lot better than
any book written by that scary coke snorting,
cliché vomiting, financial advisor Suze Orman.