THINGS THAT HAPPEN RIGHT B4 YOU GET MARRIED
People are weird. Right before you get married they say strange, strange things. Things that are bold and inappropriate even if they don't know you like, "DON'T DO IT!" and slap you on the back cackling like a drunken sailor. Some people say, "Good luck with THAT one!" or even "So much for your sex life now, huh?!" to which I want to say, "Um...weird person...can you just SHUT up?"
Mostly people say things (nice people, people that love you, people trying to be nice) that they perhaps think they should ask you like, "ARE YOU EXCITED???????????" (no. not excited) or "COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS??????????" (to what?). Again. Nice people, people that love and know you but don't know what else to say. The other night I told E that I hope we have stuff to talk about after the wedding - only half joking.
And what's with registering places? AGH. Both of us browsed and browsed and created so many friggin registry lists only to pick one or two things from each and then finally turning to one another to say, "We don't want any of this. No Really." Literally. None of it. Beds and bookcases and dressers and chairs and tables - all types of furniture created from fake, ugly, stained wood made to look old. It all reminded me of a Universal Studios set. If you took a deep breath and exhaled you might blow the whole room away.
These places also sell things that sound like SNL skit props. Things like (and these are real) 'Maple Leaves, Set of 24'...we have friends coming from Maine to our wedding. What would they think of this? Or how about the 'Portable Ice Cube Maker'? Because just think of all those times you were at the beach or the park thinking what a better day it would have been if you'd brought your Portable Ice Cube Maker.
Not to sound so PC but why can't people just donate to the Red Cross? Or give us one of their drawings or photos? I really, really want a Nikon D50 but that isn't nice and wedding like now is it. Ok I admit I want one wedding type gift - towels and sheets, sheets and towels. Smother me in them. I want so many I could wrap a building in them. Like Christo.
