Too Much Coffee

I just called the 1-800 number of the place
we order coffee from for the office. I got
our account rep's voicemail. In a thick,
thick 'coffee tawk' a la Saturday Night
Live style accent her message said,

'Hi there...it's Victoria! Something's
brewin' and I'm not at my desk right
now. Leave me a message and I'll
get back to 'ya. Keep on perkin'!'

Some people should just not drink
caffeine.

Things That Made My Day So Far

Listening to my dad on NPR and hearing
him say, 'TACKO' and not 'TACO'. lol.

Leftover birthday cupcakes in office fridge.

Being asked to go in the voice over booth
at work, put on headphones and be taped
in the microphone clearing my throat and
saying, 'SHHHH!' like an angry librarian.

Bras Are Funny

In second grade I was asked to stand
in front of my class and read a story.
I had to pick the story-actually my mom
picked it for me. It was a story about a
little bunny that lost it's family in a horrible
accident. The bunny hid under a tree
in the snow until the next day when a
loving family of four came to cut down
the tree for the holidays and take both
the tree and the bunny home.

Only problem was there was a giant
bra ad on the back of my story that
was apparently torn from some chick
magazine. My whole class laughed
through the entire thing. Thanks mom.

A Sad Intern Tale

Today my boss asked me to send our
intern out to get balloons, streamers
ice cream and a card for our fellow
office mate. This required going to a
bunch of different places and it was
raining hard out.

Later we asked her to go pick up
about ten million tapes but she forgot
to bring the cart so carried them ten
blocks by hand.

Because she was late coming back
from the tape mission she missed
garbage pick up so we needed her
to hand deliver all the garbage bags
down eight flights of stairs to the
street.

As she was putting on her jacket to
head out I thanked her for everything
and asked what she was up to tonight.

'Going out for cheesecake...it's my
favorite.'
'Oh cool..any occasion?' I asked
'Yes. It's my birthday.'

What Do You Think?

Let's just say I am reminded of how
much I totally dig my new job when
I utter such sentences as, 'Hey David?
I didn't get your 'Baby Got Back' email.
Can you please resend it? Thanks.'

My Two Cents on Sports

I believe the consistently vacant and
somewhat pissed off look on the face
of Tiger Woods is not based on the art
of concentration but rather that he hasn't
had enough (any) sex.

And who exactly is the willing ghostwriter
for meathead Yankees pitcher David Wells
aka 'Boomer''s new book? Whoever you
are fess up! I may not know you but I find
you very scary.

And how about this people…how ‘bout
we freak out if Jimmy Carter makes a
spontaneous return from retirement and
not David Cone. At least Jimmy has better
stats or doesn't sweat under pressure.