Say My Name

Um. I just found out I've been calling the intern
the wrong name for like...6 weeks now. Oops.

I feel bad. I hate it when people screw up my
name. Then again I usually tell them BEFORE
SIX WEEKS HAVE PASSED that they don't
have it right.

One time I had a babysitter who was older
and around my grandmother's age. Her name
was 'Mrs. Diamond' and she had a dog named Flo.
She was very nice and would come over to make
brownies (not the space kind) with me and watch
'Fame'. The only bummer was she always called
me 'Christian' which is not my name and that sucked.

That was not as bad I guess as when each year I
received a completely and totally illegible $25
check made out to "Chriszkpezn Whillyemhtwzs'
from my estranged ex-prisoner of war grandfather
Jack. The check was often so mispelled that even
my local small town bank wouldn't cash it. Nothing
like being twelve years old with a $25 check burning
in your pocket. My sister and I have calculated that
to date if I were able to cash those checks I could be
$725 richer.

A recent letter from the Department of Labor reads:

'Dear Krispen:
The Department of Labor has learned that you were
discharged for MISCONDUCT from your job with
VIACOM INTERNATIONAL."

Who me?